A few weeks ago, we hosted another “Shop Talk” – Real Men with Real Conversations session in Williamsburg, Virginia- a great success! During the session, I shared with the men a trauma I experienced at 12 that touched their hearts. One of them, Johnny Mallory, shared this writing with me a few days ago from what he felt.
I was taken advantage of at a young age. Let me be clear, I was raped when I was twelve. Thinking of that day, it feels like hell. The rapist never faced court, so he didn’t go to jail. Remind you all, I was just twelve! For years I blamed myself for the attack. Started dressing differently and didn’t know how to act; it’s a thin line between love and hate, and that was me internally. I just wished that I could go back to the normal me. Others whispering, and spreading lies, only fueled my pain. I was a little girl with the world to gain. A part of me was taken, and it took years for me to try to get it back. I walked around, embarrassed in my mind; when I was the victim, I didn’t commit the crime. Every time I would see him, I would hang my head down. He held that power for years over me. It could be in a store, driving by in traffic, or even at work. If only you knew that really hurt. It felt like I was being attacked each time all over. One day I decided that I had enough. I prayed to God like I always do, and I asked him to give me strength – I knew it was not my fault. At times I thought my life was heading to the dark, but God told me to lift my head up and to take it back. The next time I saw that person that attacked me, for the first time I didn’t put my head down. I didn’t cry or get embarrassed. I looked at him – I looked at him because God told me to. For the first time, I saw him put his head down. He knew that he didn’t have that control over me anymore. That is when my life started changing. That is when I knew that God gave me the strength to do something I didn’t think I could do. I took it back! If I can take it back, so can you. No matter what you are going through remember God will see you through it. Take it back! – Johnny Mallory
If you’ve been traumatized by anything in life, this writing is sent to encourage you to TAKE BACK YOUR voice, power and LIFE!