As a Pre-Marital and Marriage Counselor, it’s been revealed that most challenges happen in marriage because the individuals came into the marriage broken, selfish and harboring unforgiveness from the past.
One of the greatest keys to Wholeness in marriage lies in our ability to understand forgiveness. We have high expectations of our Heavenly Father to forgive us through our life journey. We must place that same leverage on our ability to do the same for others. Being unable to forgive forces us to remain in a dimension of bondage.
Situations and events that we hold even in our subconscious mind can hinder our progress to a fruitful life. When we activate the “will of God” or his original intent for our lives, wholeness takes place. A lot of times we carry burdens that don’t even belong to us. When we look at mothers and fathers that go through a divorce and pass their unforgiving tendencies on to the children, until they forgive each other, the wholeness process will continue to attach to those relationships possibly for generations vicariously. Without fail, unforgiveness creates a troubled life. The cause of most negative behavior traits is related to the origin of a traumatic episode in our life.
The lack of forgiveness forces us not to face our problems, and sometimes we suppress the situation or events and replacing it with sinful, dysfunctional, and destructive behaviors such as:
- Drug addiction
- Compulsive Behaviors (Paraphilia / Pedophilia)
- Sexual misconducts
- Low Self-Esteem
Colossians 3:13 reads, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (NIV) Jesus set forth the model of forgiveness that each of us should follow. His ultimate sacrifice is an example as to how we should measure forgiveness in all situations, especially our marriages. (a segment from We Want to Be Whole by me, being released in 2020)